I have had the good fortune to come across some hilarious internets recently. Here are some of the very best ones, in linkdump form:
First up, this had me in tears. For real. Salty water was streaming down my face:
(via)
Next, from marriedtothesea.com:
This as well, from XKCD:
And finally, via some chickface:
In the interest of preserving my Legendary Wit on the uneraseable internet, I give you a joke:
What does the pope eat on his pancakes?
Hmm?
Papal syrup!
I was at a bar with some friends from high school last night, both of them ladies. I took it upon myself to wink at them lecherously at every opportunity, which they (for some reason) did not appreciate. They said it was creepier than normal winking in a way that could not be articulated. “Here,” said Kate (one of my friends), “I’ll take a picture of you winking with my SUPER FANCY CAMERA and you’ll see.”
Aww, look at that. Adorable! I don’t look creepy or lecherous at all; I simply look like I’m cluing you in on a joke or some light-hearted scheme. Kate and Amy agreed. This does not capture the creepy, pervy-old-man quality of my wink. “Try licking your lips suggestively,” Kate commanded.
No, not this either. This just looks like maybe someone punched me in the eye and I have a bit of barbecue sauce in my moustache. No lecherism here.
We were stumped. How could we capture the terror created in the panties of my friends when I wink? “I know!” I proclaimed and produced this, which allowed us to record this:
THERE it is! We watched this video many times and determined there are three factors that make this a CREEPY, LECHEROUS WINK:
And thus, further evidence that Art is a pervy old man.
Ok, if you know me you know that somtimes I am the only person who thinks something is funny. It happens a lot, in fact. So I want a reality check.
I made this lol celeb on ROFLrazzi last summer with their lol builder and it never went up. I happen to think it’s damn good:
Instead, they’ve put up things like this, this, this, this, this, and this. None of which is funnier (or even as funny) as the lol celeb I made.
I’m not fishing for compliments. I know I think this is funny. But am I out of touch? Or is this truly not funny?
My mind has been blown today.
In late 2004, I was at a party. Someone said, “Come over here, Art. I want to show you this internet video.” The video was called “Just 2 Guyz” and it went something like this (mildly NSFW):
I lost my shit watching it. We must have played it five times in a row at that party, and at subesquent parties and other social gatherings for months and years.
This video was produced by an internet comedy trio called The Lonely Island. I checked out some of their other stuff in 2005 and thought “Yes, this is pretty good. I hope they get picked up somewhere.”
Well, as I discovered from their YouTube page, you may have seen some of their other work:
That’s right! The Lonely Island was taken onto Saturday Night Live to create their Digital Shorts segments. And Andy Samberg (one of the three dudes, and “Steve” in the Just 2 Guyz video) was even brought onto the full SNL cast. This is yet another example of the blurring line between Main Stream Media and New Media. Score one for talent being justly rewarded.
When you order many small samples of beers or scotches or wines with the intention of sampling a wide variety, that is called a “flight.” Scotch flight, beer flight, etc. Usually there will be a theme, like a Highlands flight for scotch, or an import flight for beer.
Well, evidently at Jake’s Sports Cafe in Plymouth, you can have all the white people move out of your neighborhood:
Two things:
First and foremost, RIP Majel Barrett. I’m not going to go on and on, so I will just paraphrase a classic Star Trek quote in memoriam:
Goodbye, computer.
Additionally, watch this:
Everyone is really upset about this Blog-o-gov thing. (That’s his name right? It starts with “Blog”?) I’m not upset. I’m actually really happy he did this.
“This,” of course, being try to sell a senate seat. This is astounding! I could not read a better novel if I paid $100 for it. I am so absolutely rivited by the sheer dumbness of this man!
What I love most is the total lack of effort or creativity. This is not exchanging power in government for untracable (unless you say it on your own telephone while you know you’re being probed for other misdeeds) political favors, such as getting people fired for writing not-on-message articles about you in the hometown paper. No. This is “Will you give me half a million dollars?” Not half a million dollars in home repair, or a half a million dollar trip and stay in some exotic location, or even some bizarre painting. No. This is just straight cash. Ha!
So, yes, fume and decry all you want. Nothing actually happened. An idiot was caught being an idiot. And I choose to laugh at that.
Plus, I love any governor who can’t form a sentance without an explative.
