I have had the good fortune to come across some hilarious internets recently. Here are some of the very best ones, in linkdump form:
First up, this had me in tears. For real. Salty water was streaming down my face:
(via)
Next, from marriedtothesea.com:
This as well, from XKCD:
And finally, via some chickface:
Brad Neely’s videos are no longer available for uncensored viewing on the internet.
Let me say that again: Brad Neely’s videos are no longer available for uncensored viewing on the internet.
Censored. On the internet.
That means such classic Brad Neely lines as “No one can fuck my strange guests,” and “10s and 20s, what’s so funny, fuckin’ 20 10″ are rendered pointless and boring. And then there are made up words that have roots in swears that are fucking poetry (or, if not poetry, then otherwise genius) that get bleeped. For example, from Babycakes Diary #3: “Sometimes, if I’m fast enough, I catch a glimpse of the Brain Fuckler, just fucklin’ the shit out of everyone.”
Luckily, I was able to download (legally, for free) the audio to the best song of them all before all of this happened. You may care to take a listen to Be Aggressive by Brad Neely. (For now you may also be interested in watching an unauthorized distribution from you tube dot com. But shh! Keep it under your hat! )
All the Brad Neely videos adopted from Super Deluxe are edited–not just bleeped, but images are cut out, too. I thought the title “adult” swim suggested that we could handle this stuff, as well as the huge TV-MA plastered on each video. Really lame.
I can’t verify the claim that images have been cut out. I’ve watched The Role Play Tournament and Bible History, which have, respectively, the most violent and vulgar images of the Neely Collection. I’m not saying this didn’t happen, just that I can’t verify it. I will say that it would not surprise me in the least.
But, as with all things in the universe except household cleanliness, this is not happening in a vacuum. Brad Neely’s blog says this:
Neely can do nothing about it. SuperDeluxe is gone. We are lucky to have our pieces posted on Adult Swim.
The post after that (which is the most recent post, dated December 21, 2008), says these videos will be returning to the internet in their uncensored form “very soon.” I eagerly await that day.
Which brings me to my point: I am not saying this signals some great defeat of Western ideals. This is a mild affront to Internet Common Sense, but this is also very likely just some oblivious online programing executive who was given authority over a medium his 80-year-old ass is totally clueless about (TED STEVENS). I am merely lamenting the (momentary) stifling of a very specific artist whose work I genuinely admire. Alas.
Post script: I will admit this is not exactly breaking news. SuperDeluxe.com was taken over by Adult Swim on December 17, 2008 (via). Forgive me if I’m still not indifferent. But seriously. Censorship. On the internet. I just had to register my frustration indignation slack-jawed bewilderment.
It is not my birthday, but tweet number 1,021. That is, tweet ten twenty-one, the month and day of my birthday. No one was online for me to show this to, so I decided I’d blog it and save it FOREVER. And now you know.
Yes, this is week three. I’m starting to think you guys don’t really care to answer these questions, but we’ll see! (Answers to last week’s thingy here.) This week’s list looks like this:
1. What’s the name of the guy who invented Facebook? Mark Zuckerberg (Cameron)
2. On what Pixies album will you find the song “Where is my mind?” Surfer Rosa (Kaeti)
3. According to Brad Neely, what are the three different heights of George Washington? 6′10, 6′20, 12 stories tall (made of radiation) (Cameron)
4. How many miles between here and Boston? (within, say, 50) 1402 (according to the Atlas I used when I drove back and forth) Given answer: 1390 (Cameron)
5. Two major figures in the Star Trek world have died in the past month. Who were they, and what were their respective connections to Star Trek? (Partial credit for partial answers) RRicardo Montalbán (KHAAAN) (Cameron)
6. A pirate walks into a bar with a steeringwheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “You know, you have a steeringwheel sticking out of your pants.” What does the pirate say? “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!” (Le)
I’m not sure how this happened, but I am the #1 result when you Google creepy old man wink (not in quotes). I have secured my rightful place at the top of the creepy/pervy old man hierarchy. *haaaaaaawink*
Ok, if you know me you know that somtimes I am the only person who thinks something is funny. It happens a lot, in fact. So I want a reality check.
I made this lol celeb on ROFLrazzi last summer with their lol builder and it never went up. I happen to think it’s damn good:
Instead, they’ve put up things like this, this, this, this, this, and this. None of which is funnier (or even as funny) as the lol celeb I made.
I’m not fishing for compliments. I know I think this is funny. But am I out of touch? Or is this truly not funny?
My mind has been blown today.
In late 2004, I was at a party. Someone said, “Come over here, Art. I want to show you this internet video.” The video was called “Just 2 Guyz” and it went something like this (mildly NSFW):
I lost my shit watching it. We must have played it five times in a row at that party, and at subesquent parties and other social gatherings for months and years.
This video was produced by an internet comedy trio called The Lonely Island. I checked out some of their other stuff in 2005 and thought “Yes, this is pretty good. I hope they get picked up somewhere.”
Well, as I discovered from their YouTube page, you may have seen some of their other work:
That’s right! The Lonely Island was taken onto Saturday Night Live to create their Digital Shorts segments. And Andy Samberg (one of the three dudes, and “Steve” in the Just 2 Guyz video) was even brought onto the full SNL cast. This is yet another example of the blurring line between Main Stream Media and New Media. Score one for talent being justly rewarded.
I picked five movies and brought them to my room to watch while I sit in bed feeling sorry for myself with this head cold. I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to watch, so I decided I would Google each of them (each title in quotes) and the one with the most results would be the winner. I was surprised at the results:
I’m convinced the only reason Wayne’s World beat Blazing Saddles is beacuse it necessarily includes results for both Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2.
But, the internet does not lie, folks. The Big Lebowski it is. Probably followed by Good Night and Good Luck.
Last night I got an unexpected email in my inbox:
Hi, artallen.
thecosbyshow (thecosbyshow) is now following your updates on Twitter.
Check out thecosbyshow’s profile here:
This is really neat! What the Tiwtter feed gives you is little updates on what the actors are doing. For example:
thecosbyshow Phylicia Rashad (Clair) Nominated for Best Actress SAG Award for playing Lena Younger in “A Raisin in the Sun” – http://tinyurl.com/9tclts
This might seem kind of pointless and stupid, but I actually really like it. I actually wish some other shows would do this. Like, if Star Trek TNG or M*A*S*H had feeds like this I’d follow them.
Oh, and then there’s the question of how the Cosby Show knew to follow me on Twitter. A quick search.twitter.com excursion finds one two three tweets that contain the word “Cosby.”
Also, if you’ve spoken to me in the past month and a half you know that it’s all I can do to wait until Christmas Day to get some Christmas Monies so I can go to Best Buy and buy each of the eight seasons of the Cosby Show for $20 each. Heckuva deal! But getting this email connected for me (for some reason) that I could buy this show on Amazon, and it’d probably be even cheaper. And it is! The Cosby Show: 25th Anniversary Commemorative Edition (1984) $89.99
I cannot wait.
Just recently I became a fan of Dungeons and Dragons on the social networking website Face Book Dot Com. News of this on my “wall” prompted my friend JERKASS ENEMY to proclaim “NEEEEERRRRDDD.”
Well, yes, that’s fine. Except that during my last (and longest) d20 campaign, he was the DM
I am, by the contemporary definition, a TOTAL FUCKING NERD. Wikipedia defines “nerd” as:
… a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers, or will tend to associate with like-minded people.
This is pretty accurate. I have a degree in political science (intellectual activities), I have often boasted about my knowledge of Simpson’s trivia (esoteric knowledge), and I have a vast mp3 collection of TV theme songs and commercial jingles (other obscure interests). But I am unsatisfied with this. Just because I like politics, a very popular television show, and I went on two downloading sprees in 10th grade, does that make me a nerd?
I fit into a few other nerd categories: Star Trek fan (two conventions plus autographs; I also own—very proudly—all of TNG on DVD), Star Wars fan (made a point to watch the second Robot Chicken Star Wars special, and that’s about it), Fire Fly fan, (new) Battlestar Galactica fan, Dr. Horrible fan, D&D veteran and aspirant (I’ve even played WoW a few months at a time), I like to read and I went to the Perpich Center for Arts Education to study writing in high school—which I think makes me a lit nerd, I’m making an effort to start reading more comic books and graphic novels, I work for a nonprofit which makes me a policy nerd, I read a lot of news which makes me a news junkie (a form of nerd), I blog and use Twitter which makes me a very low-degree tech nerd, plus I love I love the Discovery and History channels. I love Weird Al and They Might Be Giants. Not to mention my undying devotion to and analysis of comedy. I am a HUGE comedy nerd. (Two words: Mel Brooks.)
Hell, I quote Wikipedia in blog posts.
So, by all accounts I’m a nerd, right? A total fucking filthy nerd. Oh right, add to the list that I don’t really work out, so I’m not super physical (at the moment).
But here’s the problem: I’m a total dude. I’m really witty and pretty charming. I love baseball. I socialize with friends really often. I socialize with really fucking cool friends who are really smart and are in bands and are poets and are very attractive and are also very witty and charming. I am very much not a loner. I used to be a loner—a little bit—but I haven’t even felt as socially awkward as I have most of my life recently. I go to parties and I talk to people I don’t know! I get (very attractive) girls’ phone numbers sometimes!
So, either I break the mold or there’s a problem with the definition. I say there’s a problem with the definition.
The Wikipedia definition, I think, tries to pile too much onto the label of “nerd.” I think I can agree with everything having to do with the love of the intellectual pursuit and reveling in obscure knowledge. Hell, what nerd doesn’t love playing trivia games? The problem, I think, is with the “loner” aspect. Just because you’re a nerd doesn’t mean you’re not a total badass who people love hanging out with. You could even be a great lover! You could be really good at having sex and also be a total goddamn nerd. It’s true. I’ve seen it happen. The problem with the Wikipedia definition is that it lumps these totally badass nerds (me, my friends) in with the goddamn loser-nerds (unfit to be called nerds, I’d say).
So, here’s the solution: people like me—people who are really excited for the new Star Trek movie because it looks totally badass, not just because it’s Star Trek (although that really helps. I did go through the latest trailer frame by frame with a friend of mine to see if we could figure anything out about the plot—and we did!)—let’s start calling them nerds straight up, and let’s call these goddamn loner-nerds something else. I don’t know. How about, um, “losers” or “loners” or one of the many other words that already exists to describe people who do not interact well with society at large, despite their “obscure interests.”
