A Classic, Ruined

Brad Neely’s videos are no longer available for uncensored viewing on the internet.

Let me say that again: Brad Neely’s videos are no longer available for uncensored viewing on the internet.

Censored. On the internet.

That means such classic Brad Neely lines as “No one can fuck my strange guests,” and “10s and 20s, what’s so funny, fuckin’ 20 10″ are rendered pointless and boring. And then there are made up words that have roots in swears that are fucking poetry (or, if not poetry, then otherwise genius) that get bleeped. For example, from Babycakes Diary #3: “Sometimes, if I’m fast enough, I catch a glimpse of the Brain Fuckler, just fucklin’ the shit out of everyone.”

Luckily, I was able to download (legally, for free) the audio to the best song of them all before all of this happened. You may care to take a listen  to Be Aggressive by Brad Neely. (For now you may also be interested in watching an unauthorized distribution from you tube dot com. But shh! Keep it under your hat! )

The facebook dot com sez:

All the Brad Neely videos adopted from Super Deluxe are edited–not just bleeped, but images are cut out, too. I thought the title “adult” swim suggested that we could handle this stuff, as well as the huge TV-MA plastered on each video. Really lame.

I can’t verify the claim that images have been cut out. I’ve watched The Role Play Tournament and Bible History, which have, respectively, the most violent and vulgar images of the Neely Collection. I’m not saying this didn’t happen, just that I can’t verify it. I will say that it would not surprise me in the least.

But, as with all things in the universe except household cleanliness, this is not happening in a vacuum. Brad Neely’s blog says this:

Neely can do nothing about it. SuperDeluxe is gone. We are lucky to have our pieces posted on Adult Swim.

The post after that (which is the most recent post, dated December 21, 2008), says these videos will be returning to the internet in their uncensored form “very soon.” I eagerly await that day.

Which brings me to my point: I am not saying this signals some great defeat of Western ideals. This is a mild affront to Internet Common Sense, but this is also very likely just some oblivious online programing executive who was given authority over a medium his 80-year-old ass is totally clueless about (TED STEVENS). I am merely lamenting the (momentary) stifling of a very specific artist whose work I genuinely admire. Alas.

Post script: I will admit this is not exactly breaking news. SuperDeluxe.com was taken over by Adult Swim on December 17, 2008 (via). Forgive me if I’m still not indifferent. But seriously. Censorship. On the internet. I just had to register my frustration indignation slack-jawed bewilderment.

Trivia!

Yes, this is week three. I’m starting to think you guys don’t really care to answer these questions, but we’ll see! (Answers to last week’s thingy here.) This week’s list looks like this:

1. What’s the name of the guy who invented Facebook? Mark Zuckerberg (Cameron)

2. On what Pixies album will you find the song “Where is my mind?” Surfer Rosa (Kaeti)

3.  According to Brad Neely, what are the three different heights of George Washington? 6′10, 6′20, 12 stories tall (made of radiation) (Cameron)

4. How many miles between here and Boston? (within, say, 50) 1402 (according to the Atlas I used when I drove back and forth) Given answer: 1390 (Cameron)

5. Two major figures in the Star Trek world have died in the past month. Who were they, and what were their respective connections to Star Trek? (Partial credit for partial answers) RRicardo Montalbán (KHAAAN) (Cameron)

6. A pirate walks into a bar with a steeringwheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “You know, you have a steeringwheel sticking out of your pants.” What does the pirate say? “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!” (Le)

8 Boxes

Recently, I moved to a house in Uptown, just half a block out of the four-square block area called LynLake. I am two blocks from Pizza Lucé, half a block from an amazing-looking coffee shop (such charm can be seen from outside!), maybe four blocks from the VFW/Herkimer/everything else at the intersection of Lyndale and Lake, and a few more blocks away from Calhoun Square. Not to mention all my friends who live within four or five blocks.

Yeah, it’s all great. But the moving process has revealed a truth about me: I love books and movies. (Music too, but you’ll see why that was not physically demonstrated in the move.) When I packed up my books and DVDs, they took up eight boxes. And not small boxes. Look:

Sure, some boxes are smaller than others, but that’s an ass-ton of boxes. And books are heavy.

I am excited to unpack these boxes and organize my books and DVDs. I may let you know how it goes.

I find this all very interesting. You may not. But I don’t care, because this is my internet.

What I Saw On TV Today

I was watching MSNBC and they were doing a teaser for a story coming after the commercial break, going on and on about the dress Michelle Obama was wearing for the inaugural ball. They were all, “Oh, is she the new fashion leader? Move over Paris and Milan!” For about two whole minutes! They also managed to suggest that the Obama children were also fashion leaders (?). Then, without any segue or other transition, they went to commercial by saying “This is MSNBC, the place for politics.”

America’s First Black Family

You know, this day isn’t really that special or historical. Sure, we elected a black president and now he’s all official, but whatever. I mean, you heard what Karl Rove said on Election Night, right? That this isn’t that significant because we already had a First Black Family, like, twenty years ago:

Yeah, I guess somehow I see today as a little different from a television show.

Hypothetical Supergroup

I’m a big fan of the superest of the Supergroups, the Traveling Wilburys. For those of you not in the know, the Traveling Wilburys were Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, George Harrison, Roy Orbison, and Jeff Lynne (some dude from ELO. I don’t know. I’ve never heard of him either). They made exceptional music in which ever style they decided to grace with their attention. Plus, they had a great sense of humor: they released two albums, Traveling Wilburys Volume 1 and Traveling Wilburys Volume 3. There was no Volume 2. Doesn’t that drive you a little nuts? I love it.

I was recently listening to Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen, and I thought “You know what, David Bowie and Freddie Mercury should have formed a Supergroup.” They would have been an excellent core. Here is who I think should have been in the group:

David Bowie

Freddie Mercury

Robert Plant

Meat Loaf

Bob Seger (because you need one guy no one cares about and his voice would work well in this mix)

This could have been a Supergroup to rival the Traveling Wilburys. They could have had street rumbles and nobody would know who would win.

Which just leaves one thing: they need a name. What is your idea?

Who would you take out? Who would you put in?

Look At How Much They’ve Grown!

My mind has been blown today.

In late 2004, I was at a party. Someone said, “Come over here, Art. I want to show you this internet video.” The video was called “Just 2 Guyz” and it went something like this (mildly NSFW):

I lost my shit watching it. We must have played it five times in a row at that party, and at subesquent parties and other social gatherings for months and years.

This video was produced by an internet comedy trio called The Lonely Island. I checked out some of their other stuff in 2005 and thought “Yes, this is pretty good. I hope they get picked up somewhere.”

Well, as I discovered from their YouTube page, you may have seen some of their other work:

Dick in a Box

Jizz in my Pants

Laser Cats!

That’s right! The Lonely Island was taken onto Saturday Night Live to create their Digital Shorts segments. And Andy Samberg (one of the three dudes, and “Steve” in the Just 2 Guyz video) was even brought onto the full SNL cast. This is yet another example of the blurring line between Main Stream Media and New Media. Score one for talent being justly rewarded.

Some Movie Statistics

I picked five movies and brought them to my room to watch while I sit in bed feeling sorry for myself with this head cold. I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to watch, so I decided I would Google each of them (each title in quotes) and the one with the most results would be the winner. I was surprised at the results:

1. The Big Lebowski: about 1,820,000
2. Good Night and Good Luck: about 1,400,000
3. Wayne’s World: about 994,000
4. Blazing Saddles: about 913,000
5. Star Trek First Contact: about 295,000

I’m convinced the only reason Wayne’s World beat Blazing Saddles is beacuse it necessarily includes results for both Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2.

But, the internet does not lie, folks. The Big Lebowski it is. Probably followed by Good Night and Good Luck.

New Music

For the past three months or so I’ve been using the iTunes shopping cart feature. This means, when a song or artist or album came to mind that I just had to buy, I put it in my iTunes shopping cart. Then, when I have enough money I buy it. It’s called fiscal discipline and I try to have it.

Well, Christmas was recently and with it came enough money to buy my entire iTunes shopping cart. $164.81 of music that I can’t live without. 15 hours of music. 17 albums, 3 a la carte songs. 240 tracks. 68.3 cents per song. 18.3 cents per minute of music. Heckuva deal!

Let’s just say I bought a lot of music.

What I bought can be split up into a few categories:

Jazz

Louis Armstrong and Oscar Peterson: Louis Armstrong Meets Oscar Peterson

I’ve taken to listening to Jazz 88 and I heard them play a song I know well by an artist I know well, but the pairing of the two had never crossed my mind. It was Louis Armstrong singing I Get a Kick Out of You, which the more I think about it the less that song fits her persona (it’s much more believable when Sinatra sings it). Well, I just loves me some Satchmo, so I figured I’d get the whole damn thing. So I did.

Wynton Marsalis: Magic Hour

I took a relatively safe bet buying this album. I’ve liked everything I’ve heard from Wynton Marsalis over the past few years, but for some reason I would never commit to actually buying one of his albums. I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve gotten into it a bit more.

Zoot Sims Quartet: That Old Feeling

The Zoot Sims are featured on the Rushmore soundtrack and that song convinced me to buy the only album of theirs on iTunes. Additional encouragement came when I found out the first track on the album is 9:20 Special, which is off another all-time favorite album of mine.

Lady Singers

Feist: The Reminder

I’d been meaning to buy this album since my 23rd birthday. It was in my iTunes shopping cart in 2007 when I was trying to decide what music to buy then and didn’t quite make the cut for some reason. When I saw Feist on Steven Colbert’s Christmas special I instantly developed a HUGE crush on her (like, huge) and I decided this year I wouldn’t let her music pass me by for a second year.

Fiona Apple: Extraordinary Machine

I’ve been an on again/off again Fiona Apple fan for probably six years. The past year I’ve been very much on. I heard the title track off this album about a month ago and didn’t realize it was Fiona Apple at first. I then knew I must buy this album.

Alt Pop? Is That a Term? or: Artists I Heard on the Current

Gogol Bordello: Super Taranta!

Gogol Bordello has probably been one of my top five bands in the past 15 months. I heard Immigrant Punk on The Current in the summer of 2007 and asked specifically for Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike for my birthday that year. This year I got another one by them and I’m already in love with it.

Cloud Cult: Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes)

This is the new Cloud Cult album. I don’t have any of their other albums but I needed to start somewhere. I’ve heard them all year long on the Current, especially selections from this album, and for a while I’ve known that right when I get the money this would be at the top of my list. I nearly cheated and got it without dedicated funding a few times, but I decided not to. I am fiscally disciplined!

Art Brut: It’s a Bit Complicated

Ok, how can I not buy an album by an artist with this name? I’ve heard Art Brut on The Current a fair amount and I am really happy each time I do. Also, this album contains my favorite new song discovery so far (in this batch): Pump Up the Volume. Let’s just say I completely relate to the lyrics, except instead of “a pop song” it’s “this hilarious movie.” I’m a terrible man, I know.

Devotchka: A Mad and Faithful Telling

This is the album I’m least confident about. I like their song Clockwise Witness, but I’ve listened to a bunch of the other tracks on the album and they all seem to run together. Nothing stands out. I’m just not sure about this one. We’ll see.

Oppenheimer: Take the Whole Midrange and Boost It

Ok, so I didn’t actually hear Oppenheimer on The Current. I saw them open for They Might Be Giants twice. The first time they were fantastic but I didn’t buy their album (lack of cash). The second time I saw them they were even better and I did buy their album (the last ten dollars out of my pocket). It hadn’t even occurred to me that they might have additional albums past the one they were selling at the show and I was very pleased to see that they did.

Artists I Appreciate Now that My Tastes Have Matured

The Pixies: Surfer Rosa

When I was in high school, everyone in my lit class but me loved the Pixies. I had just never heard them really, and their fawning obsession (or what seemed like it to me at the time) sort of annoyed me. I’ve gone back to a compilation disc made for our class by a classmate and discovered that indeed the Pixies are pretty good. I decided on this particular album purely based on the fact that it contains a track entitled “Oh My Golly!” And it’s actually a pretty good song.

Wilco and Billy Bragg: Mermaid Avenue

I never used to like bands with depth. Or country overtones. I do now. I think it is past time I got this album. I’m really looking forward to it.

Tom Waits: Mule Variations

I have a pretty extensive hodgepodge of illegally downloaded Tom Waits songs. Now that I download legally, I figured it’s time to have actual full albums. I am really excited to have full Tom Waits albums. I will play them on repeat, I’m sure.

Tom Waits: Rain Dogs

Hell yes I bought two Tom Waits albums at once. I couldn’t decided between these two, so I didn’t. I love the polka and the voice. Can’t go wrong.

And the Rest

Adam Green: Sixes and Sevens

Adam Green is so fucking weird and another in that list of my current top five. I got the song Novotel from the album Jacket Full Of Danger in 2006 when it came with a free iTunes student sampler. I made it my business to march right down to the store and buy the CD and I’ve had it in my car’s CD changer (only 6 slots!) for a year and a half. I heard a review of this album on MPR (news and information) last summer and had to force myself not to drive right to the Best Buy to pick it up. It was one of the first albums into my shopping cart when I began this process three months ago.

David Bowie: Space Oddity

When I went to Britain last spring, I decided to bring a bunch of British media (books, music, movies) with me to appreciate while I was over there. One of the CDs I bought for the trip was Best of Bowie. I was immediately ready to buy full Bowie albums, and I swore the first Bowie album I got would be Space Oddity. And so it is.

Soundtrack: Rocky Horror Picture Show

I bought this on sort of a whim. The plan was to go to the Otter as a group and have everyone sing up to sing through the entire soundtrack. I realized I didn’t know any of the songs well enough, so I bought it to study up. That plan ended up falling through, so now I have this soundtrack. Forever.

Three tracks from They Might Be Giants tribute cover album Hello Radio

I got the tracks They’ll Need a Crane by the Wrens, Letterbox by Ok Go, and The End of the Tour by Hotel Lights. The best part about all these songs is how they emphasize the lyrics to these songs in ways the originals don’t. Which is to say they emphasize the lyrics at all, and furthermore to a more appropriate pace, I’d say. Especially They’ll Need a Crane: that’s actually a bittersweet lovesong that an up-tempo tune robs of sincerity, I think. I mean, yeah, it’s still very much TMBG in that very particularly weird way, but it’s still better, I think, when done by the Wrens.

Whew.

This is by far the most music I’ve bought in one sitting ever. Yes.

Guess Who’s Coming to Twitter

Last night I got an unexpected email in my inbox:

Hi, artallen.

thecosbyshow (thecosbyshow) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Check out thecosbyshow’s profile here:

http://twitter.com/thecosbyshow

This is really neat! What the Tiwtter feed gives you is little updates on what the actors are doing. For example:

thecosbyshow Phylicia Rashad (Clair) Nominated for Best Actress SAG Award for playing Lena Younger in “A Raisin in the Sun” – http://tinyurl.com/9tclts

This might seem kind of pointless and stupid, but I actually really like it. I actually wish some other shows would do this. Like, if Star Trek TNG or M*A*S*H had feeds like this I’d follow them.

Oh, and then there’s the question of how the Cosby Show knew to follow me on Twitter. A quick search.twitter.com excursion finds one two three tweets that contain the word “Cosby.”

Also, if you’ve spoken to me in the past month and a half you know that it’s all I can do to wait until Christmas Day to get some Christmas Monies so I can go to Best Buy and buy each of the eight seasons of the Cosby Show for $20 each. Heckuva deal! But getting this email connected for me (for some reason) that I could buy this show on Amazon, and it’d probably be even cheaper. And it is! The Cosby Show: 25th Anniversary Commemorative Edition (1984) $89.99

I cannot wait.